Can't Lose You
by eternalrue
Summary: is it weird that spotting her naked made him turn to jello? its ooc. sorry. oneshot. slight sexual content.


**I own Soul Eater not. (sad face)**

**A/N: Beware! It starts ok but gets completely out of character! Sorry!**

Right now, things were good. He had managed to keep his cool. Maka wasn't around either, and that made him relax a little. Since the day he'd walked in on her as she was getting out of the shower, the image of her naked body just wouldn't get out of his head. He could feel warm blood trickling from his nose just from the thought. He cursed himself. He was totally being uncool, but his libido was raging. The more time went on the worse it got, and Maka was just making it worse. She had Maka-chopped him that day, but absolutely refused to even acknowledge the incident. But for him it just wouldn't go away. Almost every time he saw her now, he felt oncoming nosebleeds. Even masturbating had become utterly useless, no matter how hard he tried. If things kept up like this, he was going to get a serious case of blue balls, and that was the most uncool thing he could think of.

The door opened and closed lightly. "Soul, I'm home. Come help with the groceries."

He didn't hear her. He sat miserably on the couch in their adjoined living room kitchen, contemplating how he was going to avoid her when she got home, rather than help with the bags. He didn't even notice when she rounded the corned, her arms loaded with bags. He didn't notice until he heard her cry, "Maka-chop!" and the spine of a book crashed into the top of his skull.

"Sheesh, whats with you?" Maka asked as he lay on the floor. "Blair isn't even home and you get nose bleeds? Not cool. Now help me put this stuff away."

He lay there partially conscious for a moment and watched her walk back to the kitchen. His eyes gravitated to her rear end, and his nose protested painfully as it gushed. _If she knew she'd kill me with a thousand Maka-chops, _he thought despairingly.

"Soul!" she snapped, turning abruptly to glare at him. "Come **on**! This stuff's not going to put itself away!" She had a book in hand and was tapping it threateningly in the other.

"Yea, yea, whatever," he responded, scooping himself off the floor, attempting to sound aloof, and save whatever shreds of coolness he may have left.

Once all the groceries were put away, done in silence where Soul absolutely refused to look at her, Maka sat comfortably on the couch and turned the T.V. On. She aimlessly flicked through the channels. It wasn't like he didn't want to join her, and pretend they were cool, and just act like best friends again. He just couldn't. Just the thought of being close to her made him blush, completely uncool.

"I'll be in my room," he grunted and sulked away.

She shrugged. "Whatever, just don't forget about dinner. It's your turn y'know."

"Yea, I know!" His voice was rather harsh and he shut behind him a little bit to hard. Well really he slammed it closed. _Damnit. Theres no way she didn't notice that. Now she's gonna have to ask me about it. This is so not cool. _He waited for the impending knock on the door, and her scolding voice. It didn't come. He sighed in relief, and threw himself onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling. His eyes wandered to the tent in his pants. _I should do something about that. ... Forget it, it's not like there's any point in trying. Nothing I do helps, and icy showers are just giving me a fricken cold. _He closed his eyes and put an arm around them.

Bang! Bang, bang, bang! He shot straight up with a start.

"Damnit Soul, if you don't get up right this second I'm coming in there!"

_Fuck! _ He panicked for a moment, eyes shooting to his crotch. To his astonished relief his issue from earlier was gone.

"Soul!" Maka threw his door open, scowling at him. "What have you been doing in here? And what happened to dinner? Do you even know what time it is? Blair is already home from work for Christ's sake!"

_Crap. She's pissed. If Blair's home already that means it's past nine. Did I really fall asleep? _A book collided with his head. "What the hell?!" he cried out. "Damnit Maka! What's your deal?" He looked into her face. It was the first time he had in nearly a week he realized.

"**You're **my problem!" she answered, waving her arms angrily. "I mean really! You're being so childish! You've barely talked to me, you won't look at me, and now you won't even come out to eat dinner? So what if you-" her face blushed bright red, but she continued on indignantly, "-walked in on me in the bathroom. It's not like you've never seen Blair nude before! You don't freak out and avoid her or anything, so what's you're problem?" Her expression was that of furry, her cheeks puffed out as she waited for his answer.

_She's furious with me, and she's giving me that death look, but the way she's blushing anyway... It's so damn hot. No! _He visibly shook his head. _Don't think like that! You're acting like an idiot! And she's got a point. Why the hell does it matter so much that its her?_

"Soul?" she snapped impatiently.

He shook his head again. "It's nothing, ok? You're right, I'm acting like an idiot. Sorry." His subconscious mind made a sound like a whip cracking in his head. It made him flinch.

She continued to glare at him for a moment. At this point she had stopped blushing. "Good. Now come out and eat. I made spaghetti."

He grinned at that. She knew it was his favorite. He watched her walk away, his eyes glued to her rear, watching her hips sway mesmerizingly. _Did she always do that? _he thought with a shiver. _At lease my nose isn't bleeding this time. Maybe this'll just blow over._

To Soul's disdain his problem didn't get any better. It got worse. Way worse. Especially right now, in this moment, as he woke from his erotic dream, creaming his boxers, moaning her name. He lay there, panting heavily, not from his release but from panic. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! _he thought wildly, staring at the ceiling, his eyes wide as saucers. _Fuck! Did that just happen? What if she heard me? Is this the first time? Do I always talk in my sleep? _**_What if she heard me?! _**His hands fisted his messy hair, pulling madly.

There was a light knock on his door. His heard stopped, and his stomach lurched. He was definitely going to be sick. He shot up, and flew to the door, throwing it open, speeding past the body there, toward the bathroom.

"Nyaa! Soul wait Maka is-"

He didn't hear Blair advising him not to go into the bathroom. He threw that door open too, and it slammed against the wall as he skidded to his knees, depositing the contents of his stomach into the toilet basin. He held the sides of it tightly, trembling.

"Soul?" Maka's voice drifted to his ears from behind him. "Are you ok?" her voice was full of concern.

It was then he realized the shower was on. Without breathing, his head slowly turned. Maka was peeking out at him from behind the shower curtain. He promptly threw up again.

"Soul!" she cried, clambering out of the shower, and messily wrapping a towel around herself. She reached out tentatively and touched his shoulder. His whole body jerked at her touch. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yea," he answered, so without breath and so quietly, she was amazed she heard it. He stood shakily, not looking at her, still not breathing, and stumbled to his room.

_It's over, _he thought, the words barely even forming. He took absurdly tiny breaths at a rapid rate. _It's all over. Our partnership, our friendship. She hates me I'm sure of it. She has to. How could she not. I feel so sick still. I can't breathe. What will I do? What's going to happen...? Will she... No. I know she will. She'll ask for a new weapon. Say things weren't working out, we weren't resonating or something like that. But it's my fault. It's all my fault. _He sat on the edge of his bed, head buried in his hands. He stayed like that all day.

Maka hurried out of the bathroom as Soul stumbled away. "Hey! Are you ok? Soul!" He was completely oblivious to her and disappeared into his room. "Soul! Answer me!" She banged on his door.

"Nya, maybe Maka should let him be," Blair said, actually seeming concerned.

"What happened? You said you were going to wake him up while I showered. The next thing I know he's in the bathroom chucking his guts."

"Blair doesn't know!" She shrugged innocently. "All she did was knock on the door. He ran out and pushed Blair away." At that she made a pouty face.

Maka stared at the door worriedly. "Soul? I'm gonna go to school ok? You can stay home, I'll tell Dr. Stein you were sick." No answer. "Ok. I'll see you when I get home. Blair left for work too." Still no answer. Unable to do anything else, she got ready and headed off to DWMA.

"Maka!" Tsubaki chimed happily as her friend entered the classroom. "Where's Soul?" she asked when he didn't follow Maka in.

Maka hardly registered she was being talked to, deep in thought. "He's sick today."

"Really? Is he ok? Should he see the nurse?"

Maka shook her head. "I don't think it's anything that serious. At least I hope not."

"What happened?"

"Well..." Maka took her seat. "I'm not exactly sure. One moment I was showering, and the next the door crashes open and Soul was on the ground vomiting into the toilet."

"Oh my. That sounds awful," Tsubaki said, genuinely worried.

"Ha!" Black Star laughed as he sat next to his weapon. "He probably just succumbed to some spoiled milk or something, 'cuz he isn't godlike like me!"

"We do not keep bad milk!" Maka snapped indignantly. "And anyway, Soul, doesn't like milk very much."

He shrugged. "I would never have succumbed to sickness. I'm a god you know."

He continued to prattle, but Maka stopped listening after that. "Hey," she said suddenly, obviously interrupting a monologue, aggravating Black Star to some degree. "Has Soul been acting... Weird, at all lately?"

"He's been a bit grumpy," Tsubaki replied dreamily.

"Do you think maybe he's mad at me?"

"Nah!" Black Star chuckled. "It's definitely not **that **kind of grumpy, I can tell ya that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Maka asked impatiently.

"You want the simple version? He's fucking horny."

Her jaw dropped. "W-what? How can you tell!"

"Because I'm a god! I know everything! And it's not hard for a guy to tell when his friend is suffering from a serious case of blue balls."

Her jaw hung open stupidly. She knew exactly what that meant. But it was just so hard for her to believe. Sure Soul got nosebleeds like a thirteen year old, but for some reason she had never been able to imagine him sexually frustrated. In fact, Soul and sex had never before crossed her mind. Why she didn't know. It made perfect sense. He was a male after all, and her mind categorized all men as whores. Why didn't she expect him to be too?

Her head swam at that. She didn't even try to pay attention to the lecture going on. She was so absorbed in the idea of Soul and sex that she almost wasn't even seeing the classroom. For the most part it was curiosity. She had never actually thought about how it worked or anything. It didn't matter to her anyway. What was it like? Was it something hard to do? How come he was having such trouble? Was there anything she could do?

Her mind cranked and when she actually thought about her last question her face lit up. What did she mean _is there anything she can do_? What a ridiculous question! Of course there wasn't! Now her head really started to think about _Soul _and_ sex. _What he was like. What he'd smell like. Taste like. Feel like, buried deep within her...

She squeaked audibly, shaking her head violently.

"Maka? You ok?" Tsubaki whispered nervously. "Your face is all flushed. Are you feeling well."

"I- that is-" the truth was, she wasn't. She was dizzy. Her head was swimming. She felt drunk. A mix of emotions had swept her off her feet. She was horribly disgusted with her self. She did feel sick to her stomach. Her chest was tight, and her stomach coiled. Half of her was disgust for herself and the other half was pure lust. At that realization, her whole body shuddered. She was lusting for Soul? "I need to go to the bathroom," she said shakily, getting up, trembling.

Stein took one look at her and nodded. She slowly made her way for the door, feeling ridiculous. She must have looked like a freak; she could feel her face crawling endlessly between beat red and sickly pale. In the bathroom she stood in front of a sink, continually splashing herself with icy water. She wryly thought she now understood what Soul meant whenever he said he needed to take a nice, long, **cold** shower. It bothered her that each time she closed her eyes to splash, she saw him. And the image wouldn't go away. She saw his stupid grin, that showed off his tantalizingly sharp teeth. His sexy crimson eyes, that were always so full of emotion, despite the blank looks he'd give her. She saw his appetizing muscles when he had his shirt off.

A particular image hit her like a ton of bricks. It was from two weeks ago. When Soul had opened the door on her as she got out of the shower. He had been prepared to get in himself, naked, other than a towel on his waist. She could see his whole body; almost. She remembered the way his muscles rippled when he violently threw the door back shut, mumbling his apology. She remembered the fact that his nose hadn't erupted into a torrent of blood like it did when Blair paraded around. She remembered the look of horror he'd had, and the blush that stained his cheeks. It surprised her how well she remembered those things now, when it mattered so little at the time. A thought occurred to her. For as long as she had known him, she had never once seen Soul blush before.

She was wrenched from her thoughts when a gentle hand squeezed her shoulder.

"Maka?" Tsubaki asked. "Um, class just got let out for lunch. Are you ok?"

Maka looked at her, but she was clearly looking somewhere beyond her friend. She shook her head.

"Should you maybe see the nurse?"

"No," Maka responded, out of breath for some reason. "It's not that kind of thing. I- I think I'm gonna go home." She didn't wait for Tsubaki to respond, just pushing her way back to the classroom, gathering her things and leaving for her house, not bothering to tell anyone. Deep in the back of her mind a voice hissed at her for skipping class, but that wasn't important. She had just had the biggest realization in her life.

He didn't know how long he had been alone. It wasn't hard to guess that she'd left for school. Blair was gone to. _Work,_ he thought wryly. The first thought he'd had since this morning. The whole thing was a blur to him though. All he knew was that he'd gotten clean and dressed and packed all of the things that mattered most to him into either a duffle bag or one small box. He would be ready when Maka came home and told him it would be best if he moved out. He looked at the clock. He still had a few hours before that happened though. He would take in his last day here, in his home, the only place he'd ever felt he belonged; with Maka.

He felt like he should cry. But it wouldn't happen. He wouldn't do that to her, it was so uncool. He wouldn't let it happen. No matter how much his body ached for it. He was startled when he heard the door open; instinctively he went to investigate. There was Maka, sickly pale, a distraught look about her.

Without thinking he called out to her. "Maka?" His voice was soft, but deep, laced with a loving tone. It startled them both. He ignored it though. "Are you ok? You look sick."

She stood in the door, and looked at him with blank eyes. He looked at her with worry. She took a small step toward him.

"Soul," her voice seemed distant, and breathy. "Why did you blush?"

He had no idea what she was talking about. "What?"

"Why did you blush? That time, when you walked in on me in the shower." He expected her face to flare with rage, but it remained disturbingly blank. She took a step closer to him. "You know. Not this morning when you got sick and stuff." She took another step. He had the terrible feeling of being corned, despite the fact that he was standing in the center of the living room. "When you saw me naked. Soul. Why did you blush?"

His eyes were wide and he knew he was blushing now too. _I'm being so uncool. _"I- that is-" _Stuttering?! What is wrong with you? _

"You're blushing now," she whispered and he realized she was standing right next to him now, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek. He froze, as her thumb caressed his face, her fingers tickling his jaw. "It's cute." Her voice had changed. Her demeanor too. It was a sort of dreamy, far off sound, and her body was relaxed, leaning dangerously close to his.

"M-Maka?" he stuttered. _Idiot._

She hugged him suddenly. His whole body tensed, but when she refused to let go he couldn't help but relax into it too. "Soul. I'm not really sure what entirely has been going on... But I'm sorry if I've made it worse or whatever."

He was superbly confused again. "What are you talking about?"

"Well- um," it was her turn to stutter. She pulled away from the hug and turned away from him, her face heating up. "Ok, so don't hold me to this 'cuz it's what Black Star said, but he said that the reason you've been all grumpy and avoidy and stuff was 'cuz you've been horny lately and that living with two girls, especially someone like Blair, would really just make it way worse and stuff, and that is- um- sorry..."

It was an involuntary move on his part. One hand reached around her to grab her wrist, pulling her to look at him, while the other cupped her cheek, gently pulling her lips up to meet his. Her eyes shot wide for a moment, but the look on his face, bliss, urged her to relax into the kiss. That's all it was though, to her disdain. A beautiful kiss, gentle and sweet. She was sad when he pulled his lips away from her. He tasted like whipped cream.

His heart was thundering in his ears. He was certain she would hear it and think he was completely uncool for being so nervous. He wanted so badly to make the kiss deeper; to press his body close to hers, to lick her sweet, strawberry lips, to slip his tongue into her mouth and explore like a ravenous dog. It took every fiber of his being to keep his hands from roaming everywhere on her body, and tear her clothes off. He pulled away, holding his breath.

There was silence. He felt like it could kill him. Her eyes opened slowly, and her hand came up between them, fingers gently prodding the place his lips had been. She licked her lips. Suddenly she flung her arms around his neck, yanking him into her as their lips crashed in a far more passionate kiss. It knocked the wind out of him though, and he quickly had to pull away for air.

"Soul?" Maka breathed, worried at how quickly he'd pulled away from their second kiss.

Her worry was cast aside when he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her into another kiss. They held that way for a moment, before he pushed into her, making their lips grind together. She mad a muffled "mrmph" sound when one of his hands slipped up to cup her neck and press her even closer to him. His tongue slipped out, venturing a taste of her bottom lip. She gasped at it and Soul took full advantage of it, slipping between her parted lips and pressing his tongue to hers. It took a little coaxing, but soon their tongues danced together in her mouth, wrestling for dominance. Once he was satisfied he'd won that battle he pulled away, gasping for air.

They stared into each others eyes as they gulped for air. Unspoken, they both knew what was going to happen next. They crashed into each other again, Soul's hands roaming her body freely now, but still pulling her ever closer to himself. She buried a hand in his hair while the other traced the muscles on his chest through his thin T-shirt. They stumbled in the direction of his room, it being closest, vehemently exploring each others' bodies with their hands. He'd gone from kissing her lips to trailing them along her jawline, down her neck, across her collar bone.

They burst into Soul's room unceremoniously, and Maka moaned as he nipped her neck. He smirked into her, feeling more like himself than he had for a long while. He lead her to the bed and shoved her onto it, crawling on top of her. She hissed a little when he latched his teeth onto the nape of her neck, sucking roughly on the sensitive flesh. His fingers worked nimbly to undo the buttons on the front of her shirt. As the last one came undone Maka sat up, altering their positions, the garment falling from her shoulders. They sat and looked at each other for a moment, Soul admiring her nearly bare torso, frowning at the bra hiding her breasts.

"What?" she asked huffily, breaking what had been a long time of not speaking between them.

At that it was like a switch in him had been flipped. As quickly as it had come on, his courage fled him again. He stared at her for a moment, and then his eyes were glued to his sheets. "I- this is- it's- I'm sorry," he sputtered.

She was confused. What the hell happened to him? One second he was acting like normal old Soul, well as normal as was possible as he made out with her, and now all of a sudden there was this strange timid boy eyes glued to the sheets, blushing madly. She blinked. Had he always been like this? Was he secretly as terrified as her about being intimate with someone? He always acted so cool and aloof around all the girls, flirting easily, even going as far as the occasional grope. Maka was dumbfounded.

"I'm really sorry," he mumbled on. "I'll just go."

He started to get up, and Maka found herself tackling him. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked, sounding way more seductive than she'd planned. She went with it though. "You can't just leave now! We've barely started!" She tugged at his shirt. His eyes were wide as he stared at her. For a moment it seemed like it was going to work, but he shook his head and pulled away. Frustrated, she tackled him again, pinning him to the bed, straddling his stomach. "What is with you Soul? You're being so uncool right now."

He winced. _She really does think I'm uncool. I'm such a loser._

"Soul!" her voice was practically pleading. "I don't understand what's going on. A second ago you wanted this as desperately as me and now... Now you won't even look at me! Tell me what's wrong! I want this to work! I want... I want **you **Soul."

He looked up and his gaze met hers. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered dejectedly.

"Lose me?" She was confused again. "Why would you lose me? I don't get it!"

"I don't want you to hate me ok!" he snapped, startling her. He reached up and took one of her small hands in his, staring intently at it. "I mean... What if we do this and later regret it? Our friendship would be over. If we stop now... We might be able to just go back to the way things were. Be friends again." His voice was quiet and his look pleading.

"You call what was going on before being friends?" she said sarcastically. "You were avoiding me like the plague, grumpy all the time, and we couldn't even fight together anymore! Do you have any idea how worried I was we would be assigned new partners? All because of this?" She scooted down his body and ground her butt into his erection.

"No!" he whimpered in response, pleasure shooting through him. "Not just because of that. Mostly, but not only. I thought... If you knew... That it was you... I was sure you'd hate me..." She shook her head and ground into him again. "Nnng! Maka!" he moaned involuntarily.

"Soul," she whispered, pressing her body into him. She drew her lips close to his ear. "How could I ever hate the person I love more than anything?"

His heart skipped a beat. "W-What?"

She pulled back up and smiled at him sweetly, lovingly. "Soul Eater Evans, I am completely, madly, head-over-heels in love with you." He blinked disbelievingly at her. "And I'm so sorry I never said anything sooner. I never knew you so shy," she admitted. "I always figured that if you had any feelings you'd just casually tell me one night over dinner, acting all cool and like it was no big deal. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. Soul?" He was looking at her with the widest pair of eyes she'd ever seen in her life. "Soul what's-"

"Say it again," he interrupted, voice meek. "Please. Please, say it again." He was squeezing her hand desperately.

She smiled. "Soul, I love you."

A tear slipped down his cheek, and he yanked her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her neck. "Me too," he whispered, voice quivering. "I love you too." They shared a passionate kiss before slipping into the night together.

**A/N: Well that was weird. Not intentional this story just sort of happened. Well really there was an idea in my head that just wouldn't go away and was interfering with writing my other story. It's so OOC, and I apologize. It didn't start like that. I tried but it just got out of hand. Anyway, review if you'd please. Thank you all!**


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